I see, I remember, I imagine

I see the argument before it sees me. The evening is warm and it bathes my back in its light. The TV murmurs its adverts, asking me to ‘help save a tree’ as I jot down ideas in my notebook. Eggs are cooking on the stove, each bubble seems to have a defining POP as they burst in a rapid succession. The steam swirls up to the ceiling as it is sucked out by the extractor fan. I have pizza rolls baking in the oven, the herbs tantalizing my nostrils. My rings are digging into my fingers, my charm bracelet clinking into my wrist with each movement of the pen, irritating me and so I have to take them off.

I remember when he could do no wrong. When our nights were filled to the brim with laughter instead of anger. We used to clutch at our sides as we cried with laughter over nonsense.

I flick the remnants of crispy noodles out of my teeth and swallow, also swallowing my opinions and thoughts on this particular matter. A piece of hair flops out of my ponytail and into my face as I stare at the piece of paper, wondering if I should study tonight or leave it until tomorrow.

If only I had the finances to take myself to the Airport and get a one way ticket to England. Travel calls to me like a mother calling her daughter to dinner, persistently loud and grating to the ear. I imagine myself walking down cobbled stone streets, wrapped up in a large scarf as I sip mulled wine and chat whimsically to my best friend.

He apologizes and so instead I just google happiness quotes in a poor attempt to gain a new perspective.


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